The other day a young man, named Ryan, asked me what I thought he should do. He had many ideas about what he might do, and mentioned some of things he had dreamed of doing. He even had reasons why he wasn't doing other things because "..right now, I'm not able to do them," as he put it.
As we talked he began the familiar litany of reasons why he CAN"T do the things he mentioned. He had some great ideas, some real life changers. But his speech was peppered with a constant stream of why he cannot do them. Some of these negative notions had come from others, and some he had decided on his own.
After listenting to him I laid out the simple formula that could get him where he wnated to go:
1. First decide what your Prime Directive is.
This isn't so much what you want to do, but that which you know you should be doing. There will be time for big dreams later - at the moment, there are things you should be doing to advance yourself to the next step. Decide what that is.
2. Stop listening so much to the naysayers.
For example, Ryan had been told by his father in law that one of the hings he had looked into would only lead to problems, hardships and ultimately, failure. But I saw a different reality - if he gave that thing an honest effort of only 80%, he would make more money than he had ever dreamed of, gain prestige and obtain a respected position in the community. It was done before by others and wasn't earth shaking, meaning it was very possible. SO who should he be listening to?
3. Eliminate CAN'T from your own vocabulary.
Our internal dialogue should be guiding us to where we need to go - not knocking us back to the ground. The one person you should be able to trust is yourself. So focus on CAN phrases. Instead of saying, "I cant do that because..." say, "I can do it, and here's how, why, etc." Direct your mind to see the solutions and face the difficulties, as opposed to cutting off your own legs - - and doing nothing.
Winston Churchill once said, “When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life... most of which had never happened”
If you are going to GO, DO and BECOME anything, you have to first be convinced that it is the right thing to be doing at this time. Then you have to choose your counsel well, from among those that realistically support you. And finally, you have to face the fact that you CAN do whatever it is you choose, as opposed to stopping before you start.