The other day a young man, named Ryan, asked me what I thought he should do. He had many ideas about what he might do, and mentioned some of things he had dreamed of doing. He even had reasons why he wasn't doing other things because "..right now, I'm not able to do them," as he put it.
As we talked he began the familiar litany of reasons why he CAN"T do the things he mentioned. He had some great ideas, some real life changers. But his speech was peppered with a constant stream of why he cannot do them. Some of these negative notions had come from others, and some he had decided on his own.
After listenting to him I laid out the simple formula that could get him where he wnated to go:
1. First decide what your Prime Directive is.
This isn't so much what you want to do, but that which you know you should be doing. There will be time for big dreams later - at the moment, there are things you should be doing to advance yourself to the next step. Decide what that is.
2. Stop listening so much to the naysayers.
For example, Ryan had been told by his father in law that one of the hings he had looked into would only lead to problems, hardships and ultimately, failure. But I saw a different reality - if he gave that thing an honest effort of only 80%, he would make more money than he had ever dreamed of, gain prestige and obtain a respected position in the community. It was done before by others and wasn't earth shaking, meaning it was very possible. SO who should he be listening to?
3. Eliminate CAN'T from your own vocabulary.
Our internal dialogue should be guiding us to where we need to go - not knocking us back to the ground. The one person you should be able to trust is yourself. So focus on CAN phrases. Instead of saying, "I cant do that because..." say, "I can do it, and here's how, why, etc." Direct your mind to see the solutions and face the difficulties, as opposed to cutting off your own legs - - and doing nothing.
Winston Churchill once said, “When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life... most of which had never happened”
If you are going to GO, DO and BECOME anything, you have to first be convinced that it is the right thing to be doing at this time. Then you have to choose your counsel well, from among those that realistically support you. And finally, you have to face the fact that you CAN do whatever it is you choose, as opposed to stopping before you start.
Showing posts with label how to coaching motivation finances. Show all posts
Showing posts with label how to coaching motivation finances. Show all posts
24 January 2010
I listened recently to a radio program about the the "letters" of great men and women. Down through the ages, the written letter has given insight and solidity to the people that fill our histories. Through the letter, we are privileged to catch a glimpse of their inner workings.
Interestingly, it is the letters they DIDN'T post that often reveal the most about them. The next day, before the postmans arrival, they were reconsidered and tossed in a drawer or box... never sent to their recipient. More than a few reputations have been saved because of the unsent, hand-written missive.
One of the unseen impacts of electronic communications is that we guard our words less and less. We don't speak with significance or care, and we write well-considered letters far less than in the past. Some of us may have simply stopped doing so. Electronic "laziness" has set in, frankly.
But, that doesn't eliminate the power of the word. Modern arrogance does not remove the onus of being earnest and saying what matters. Firing off whatever pops into your head, trying to "keep it real" or be spontaneous... well, that is a poor salve for being insincere.
So, I recommend you attempt to treat ALL the things you write as serious. Everything you write in internet forums or post to your blog, for example, can be seen by the world. The internet has given us far more exposure than our predecessors ever had; millions of people can read what you say in the electronic age. And our words last a long time - I recently googled a topic, and stumbled over something I myself had written years before. Obviously, this makes it all the more important to be aware of the impact your words may have.
So, if you want to avoid membership in the "Foot-In-The-Mouth Club," behave as if you are writing a letter each time you begin clicking the keys. Consider what you say and how you say it, expecting that it cannot be retrieved or undone once you hit "SEND."
SUCCESS TIP: Do you want to really make an impact on someone? Send them an old-fashioned letter, card, etc. You WILL be remembered for it - I guarantee it..
Interestingly, it is the letters they DIDN'T post that often reveal the most about them. The next day, before the postmans arrival, they were reconsidered and tossed in a drawer or box... never sent to their recipient. More than a few reputations have been saved because of the unsent, hand-written missive.
One of the unseen impacts of electronic communications is that we guard our words less and less. We don't speak with significance or care, and we write well-considered letters far less than in the past. Some of us may have simply stopped doing so. Electronic "laziness" has set in, frankly.
But, that doesn't eliminate the power of the word. Modern arrogance does not remove the onus of being earnest and saying what matters. Firing off whatever pops into your head, trying to "keep it real" or be spontaneous... well, that is a poor salve for being insincere.
So, I recommend you attempt to treat ALL the things you write as serious. Everything you write in internet forums or post to your blog, for example, can be seen by the world. The internet has given us far more exposure than our predecessors ever had; millions of people can read what you say in the electronic age. And our words last a long time - I recently googled a topic, and stumbled over something I myself had written years before. Obviously, this makes it all the more important to be aware of the impact your words may have.
So, if you want to avoid membership in the "Foot-In-The-Mouth Club," behave as if you are writing a letter each time you begin clicking the keys. Consider what you say and how you say it, expecting that it cannot be retrieved or undone once you hit "SEND."
SUCCESS TIP: Do you want to really make an impact on someone? Send them an old-fashioned letter, card, etc. You WILL be remembered for it - I guarantee it..
11 May 2009
11 SECRETS to Finding a Job
The Secrets To Finding a Job
If one in ten people are out of work, these days, then nine others are employed at something. So what are you waiting for?…go find one of the 90 percent jobs waiting for you.
To help you do that, here are few proven tips to encourage you.
Be CONSUMED by it.
If searching for a job isn't your full time, all-the-time job NOW, then your results will show it. And you will have no one to blame but yourself. It is that simple.
Do it EVERYDAY
There are no days off from this, no sick days (except when you’re hospitalized); Sunday is no slack day, except for going to church or a bit of sleeping in.
Flatly put, be busy at it, each and every day. Nothing more need be said.
BE the EMPLOYER
Know what they want in the job. Research the company and find a way you can fit in. Show them how your past experience - whatever it is - can help them in their business.
Do this with any and all potential employers in your area which might interest you. Remember, they need employees they can rely on, or they cannot run their business. Find them, understand them and then become what they need.
BLAME is Pointless
There are no assumptions to made here, no blame to be placed on others, as I indicated above. It is all you.
"The System" is not out to get you or hold you down. The truth is, "The System" doesn't generally care about you until you give it reason to.
So stop blaming employers, or the employment office, or the economy, President Obama, your kids or ex-girlfriend, etc….
Instead, prove to them that you are someone to be reckoned with. Give them something to take notice of. Make it happen.
ACT, don’t React
Stop finding reasons why you can’t look for a job, or why you are not employable, or… whatever. Stop it, NOW. Take a deep breath and start by saying, “I CAN ________________________”
You don’t have a car? Okay. But you CAN take the bus, can't you? Or walk?
What, you have no friends to help? Then talk to the neighbors about a job instead. Start finding the things you CAN do to become employed and get busy at them. If you do that, you will find there is little time for fussing over the things you cannot do.
TALK to Everyone
Okay, this is big, so pay attention. Sit down with pencil and paper and make list of all the people you know. Go through your email lists and cell-phone contacts, too. I'm talking everyone here: friends, family, neighbors, the counter girl at McDonald's, the guy at the gas station… everyone is fair game in this.
If this list doesn't fill at least half a sheet of paper, go back and think some more.
Once you have your list, plan some time every day to contact these people and talk to them about your jobless situation. Ask them for ideas, feedback, help and so on. Ask if they know of any jobs or perhaps a friend who may have an opening. Schedule a time to call them later to talk again.
People are amazingly resourceful and willing to help when they think you are trying to better yourself. So what are you waiting for? Start bettering yourself!
Take advantage of one of the greatest resources you have - the people in your life.
Ever heard the term “networking?“ This is what it means.
BE OPEN to Everything
Don’t discount opportunities because you think "it won't turn out,” or it won’t be what you want, etc. Investigate everything that may,
A. Interest you, and/or...
B. Get you PAID.
On the other hand, if you are looking for reasons why something can’t or won’t work out, then you are undermining any success before you even start out. Doing that means you aren’t wanting a job; it means you are making excuses and ACTING like you want one.
LEARN HOW to INTERVIEW
There is a knack to interviewing well. It is like taking the stage on American Idol. You must be confident, without being pushy. You must show them, on the fly, why you are the one for them. You must react well and be flexible in conversation. If you are a member of Toastmasters, Intl., so much the better. If you are not, consider joining.
NOTE: The contacts you make there might just lead to a very good job.
If you are not comfortable with people in suits or those behind desks, then find a way to practice this before hand. Call someone you know who does wear a suit and sits at a desk - and ask them to give you a mock interview.
Be ready with answers to the questions, “Tell me about Yourself,” “Why should I hire You,” "How can you benefit me?" and “What are Your strong (and weak) points.”
Do some research on how to interview well and practice BEFORE you go to the interview. Your chances of success will go up dramatically.
STAY in CONTACT
Go after the job you want by having a continuous plan for contact with that job. If you don’t get hired after one attempt, don’t imagine they didn't like you. Worse, don't sit there waiting for that person to call back. These things mire you in doubt or inaction, just when you most need activity and confidence.
So, call or email your interviewers after a week. Put each interview contact you make into your schedule for the future and politely contact them on schedule. Do this until they hire you or tell you the position is filled.
The interviewer is an important person, but you are interested in the Job. So remain in touch with the Job, like it's an old friend.
GET MAD
Anger is one of the best motivators there is. If you are unhappy with your situation - that isn’t good enough. Being "unhappy" is for wimps.
Instead, go outside and start screaming. Get on your hands and knees and start pounding the ground in anger. Get REALLY mad, I mean spitting mad!!
People nearby should be looking over at you to see what the commotion is about.
Get worked up as to why you haven’t gotten anywhere, why you are stuck, or why things haven’t worked out. Don’t blame anybody but yourself for things to this point and vow to change them.
Why? Because, you’re pissed at where you are, when you know there are better places to be!
If you’re not angry enough to feel that way - then you're not trying hard enough!!
THERE WILL BE A TEST
You are being tested, here. Your perseverance, your character, and your adaptability are on the line. Falter in these and you will remain unemployed... and worse, you will prove the negativity you feel about yourself is true.
But, be strong in these areas and follow the advice given here and a magical thing will occur - you will succeed.
And believe me, no employer will expect less of you than these things. You must be able to deliver them, so there's no time like the present to start.
AS always, I am available through email. If you have a specific question or situation, feel free to contact me.
If one in ten people are out of work, these days, then nine others are employed at something. So what are you waiting for?…go find one of the 90 percent jobs waiting for you.
To help you do that, here are few proven tips to encourage you.
Be CONSUMED by it.
If searching for a job isn't your full time, all-the-time job NOW, then your results will show it. And you will have no one to blame but yourself. It is that simple.
Do it EVERYDAY
There are no days off from this, no sick days (except when you’re hospitalized); Sunday is no slack day, except for going to church or a bit of sleeping in.
Flatly put, be busy at it, each and every day. Nothing more need be said.
BE the EMPLOYER
Know what they want in the job. Research the company and find a way you can fit in. Show them how your past experience - whatever it is - can help them in their business.
Do this with any and all potential employers in your area which might interest you. Remember, they need employees they can rely on, or they cannot run their business. Find them, understand them and then become what they need.
BLAME is Pointless
There are no assumptions to made here, no blame to be placed on others, as I indicated above. It is all you.
"The System" is not out to get you or hold you down. The truth is, "The System" doesn't generally care about you until you give it reason to.
So stop blaming employers, or the employment office, or the economy, President Obama, your kids or ex-girlfriend, etc….
Instead, prove to them that you are someone to be reckoned with. Give them something to take notice of. Make it happen.
ACT, don’t React
Stop finding reasons why you can’t look for a job, or why you are not employable, or… whatever. Stop it, NOW. Take a deep breath and start by saying, “I CAN ________________________”
You don’t have a car? Okay. But you CAN take the bus, can't you? Or walk?
What, you have no friends to help? Then talk to the neighbors about a job instead. Start finding the things you CAN do to become employed and get busy at them. If you do that, you will find there is little time for fussing over the things you cannot do.
TALK to Everyone
Okay, this is big, so pay attention. Sit down with pencil and paper and make list of all the people you know. Go through your email lists and cell-phone contacts, too. I'm talking everyone here: friends, family, neighbors, the counter girl at McDonald's, the guy at the gas station… everyone is fair game in this.
If this list doesn't fill at least half a sheet of paper, go back and think some more.
Once you have your list, plan some time every day to contact these people and talk to them about your jobless situation. Ask them for ideas, feedback, help and so on. Ask if they know of any jobs or perhaps a friend who may have an opening. Schedule a time to call them later to talk again.
People are amazingly resourceful and willing to help when they think you are trying to better yourself. So what are you waiting for? Start bettering yourself!
Take advantage of one of the greatest resources you have - the people in your life.
Ever heard the term “networking?“ This is what it means.
BE OPEN to Everything
Don’t discount opportunities because you think "it won't turn out,” or it won’t be what you want, etc. Investigate everything that may,
A. Interest you, and/or...
B. Get you PAID.
On the other hand, if you are looking for reasons why something can’t or won’t work out, then you are undermining any success before you even start out. Doing that means you aren’t wanting a job; it means you are making excuses and ACTING like you want one.
LEARN HOW to INTERVIEW
There is a knack to interviewing well. It is like taking the stage on American Idol. You must be confident, without being pushy. You must show them, on the fly, why you are the one for them. You must react well and be flexible in conversation. If you are a member of Toastmasters, Intl., so much the better. If you are not, consider joining.
NOTE: The contacts you make there might just lead to a very good job.
If you are not comfortable with people in suits or those behind desks, then find a way to practice this before hand. Call someone you know who does wear a suit and sits at a desk - and ask them to give you a mock interview.
Be ready with answers to the questions, “Tell me about Yourself,” “Why should I hire You,” "How can you benefit me?" and “What are Your strong (and weak) points.”
Do some research on how to interview well and practice BEFORE you go to the interview. Your chances of success will go up dramatically.
STAY in CONTACT
Go after the job you want by having a continuous plan for contact with that job. If you don’t get hired after one attempt, don’t imagine they didn't like you. Worse, don't sit there waiting for that person to call back. These things mire you in doubt or inaction, just when you most need activity and confidence.
So, call or email your interviewers after a week. Put each interview contact you make into your schedule for the future and politely contact them on schedule. Do this until they hire you or tell you the position is filled.
The interviewer is an important person, but you are interested in the Job. So remain in touch with the Job, like it's an old friend.
GET MAD
Anger is one of the best motivators there is. If you are unhappy with your situation - that isn’t good enough. Being "unhappy" is for wimps.
Instead, go outside and start screaming. Get on your hands and knees and start pounding the ground in anger. Get REALLY mad, I mean spitting mad!!
People nearby should be looking over at you to see what the commotion is about.
Get worked up as to why you haven’t gotten anywhere, why you are stuck, or why things haven’t worked out. Don’t blame anybody but yourself for things to this point and vow to change them.
Why? Because, you’re pissed at where you are, when you know there are better places to be!
If you’re not angry enough to feel that way - then you're not trying hard enough!!
THERE WILL BE A TEST
You are being tested, here. Your perseverance, your character, and your adaptability are on the line. Falter in these and you will remain unemployed... and worse, you will prove the negativity you feel about yourself is true.
But, be strong in these areas and follow the advice given here and a magical thing will occur - you will succeed.
And believe me, no employer will expect less of you than these things. You must be able to deliver them, so there's no time like the present to start.
AS always, I am available through email. If you have a specific question or situation, feel free to contact me.
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